Last night in the course of a discussion group meeting at the center, one of the members said something that really hit home with me.
She was relating some of the changes she's noticed in herself as her practice has gone on, things she wouldn't have imagined possible a few years back. Then she said that there's one question she keeps asking herself through all this: "Is this real (in the sense of authentic) or is this just another mind state?"
I ask myself a variation on the same theme all the time. This life of mine, this ordained practice, this job I do in the sangha – is all this going as it should? Am I kidding myself to think that I'm actually the kind of person to be in this kind of situation? Am I being foolish thinking of centering my life more and more on the Dharma?
I don't know how one answers such questions. I'm guessing one just sticks to the continuing process of coming back to the moment. Like now, when I'll get up after hitting "Publish Post" and go out and rake leaves!
She was relating some of the changes she's noticed in herself as her practice has gone on, things she wouldn't have imagined possible a few years back. Then she said that there's one question she keeps asking herself through all this: "Is this real (in the sense of authentic) or is this just another mind state?"
I ask myself a variation on the same theme all the time. This life of mine, this ordained practice, this job I do in the sangha – is all this going as it should? Am I kidding myself to think that I'm actually the kind of person to be in this kind of situation? Am I being foolish thinking of centering my life more and more on the Dharma?
I don't know how one answers such questions. I'm guessing one just sticks to the continuing process of coming back to the moment. Like now, when I'll get up after hitting "Publish Post" and go out and rake leaves!
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