08 August 2011

I'll Just Have Water

I'm guessing I'm not alone in having habits that, while not necessarily wrong or immoral, nevertheless cut against the grain of the kind of person I aspire to be.  They're in there among the "endless blind passions" no matter what else there is to say about them. 

One of mine, and I know this sounds stupid, is diet pop.  There isn't a trip to the grocery store without one or two 2-liter bottles going into the basket.  It used to have to be diet cola, but in the last couple of years I've gone over to the lemon-lime or the citrus varieties.  When it was diet cola, the preference order was Diet Rite - Diet Pepsi - Diet Coke.  Now it's Diet Sierra Mist - Diet Cherry 7Up - Diet Citrus Blast.  The preference order is, as always, subservient to the price, though.  The first pass down the aisle is for the sale prices.  I used to pride myself on never spending more than $0.99 on a bottle, unless nothing was on sale, in which case I just limited myself to one $1.69 bottle.  Until the next trip, often that same day, at which time I'd buy, again, just one.

Mine isn't an argument against diet pop.  I'll be among the last to get on some anti-consumer-item bandwagon, because it's never about the object.  My argument – maybe "wrestling match" is better – is with me.  I see what this stuff does to me.  It affects how I order my day ("I need to go to the store before working outside, so I have some diet pop when I come in"), how I order my finances ("If I toss in the bottle or two, what won't I buy with the rest of my $10.00?), and how I order my self assessment ("Hey, what's the problem? It's not like I'm buying booze or smokes!"). 

I happen to be the kind of guy who was capable of developing an attachment to diet pop.  It doesn't matter how it started or what fueled it.  What matters is that, having seen the fetters, I set to break them.  I know – I know – that life without (or at least with fewer) such fetters opens up the door for all manner of good things. 

It's been three days now since I bought any.

When I'm thirsty I get myself a glass of water.  I wonder at the way it feels going down, how I can actually feel the cool from the inside out.  I marvel at my body leading me to fill the glass again, at how I know when I've had enough. 

I'm not missing a thing!

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